Y'all, I did it again... I went out on a limb and did something a little dumb and a little reckless and told a guy that I was kind of in to him. I then found my self internally screaming "WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS!?!?". Why? Why do I put myself out there? Why I feel the need to let others know? And why don't others do this more?
See, once again, I don't regret my action. Was I a little disappointed in the response I got? Yes. Was I secretly wishing for something else? Heck yes. But am I happy I did it anyway? Incredibly so.
I've never fully understood why our culture considers it such a taboo to let people know you're crushing on them, or you think they are attractive, or heck, even that you think they are cool and want to be their friend! Why is this such a no-no? Why do we care so much? Well, I don't know the answer. I think a lot of it has to do with us being afraid to be vulnerable. We are terrified to put ourselves out there. We see it as reckless to expose our feelings to others, especially when we aren't positive they will return them.
Rejection sucks. It stings, it makes you sad, and it makes you doubt yourself. But for me, rejection doesn't hurt quite like the not knowing. I would rather a guy say to my face, or through a text message, that he doesn't feel the same way then to ponder for hours, days, or even weeks if the guy I'm into could possibly return the feelings. I don't want to waste my time. I don't want to hide my thoughts. I don't want to be anxious that they will notice before I'm ready for them to. I want to put it out there. I want them to know. I want there to be no wondering or miscommunication. I hate the not knowing.
Also, I want someone to know when I see them. That goes beyond my crushes as well. If I think someone is beautiful, I tell them. If I like what someone is wearing, then I let them know. When we did presentations in my classes then I was the one to tell people I enjoyed theirs, and mean it. I want people to know that they are seen, and that they are appreciated. If I want someone to be my friend then I let them know. If I like their makeup, their hair, think they are nice, or funny, then I am going to let them know. And so why is it so shocking that this carries over into my "love" life? Life is too short to not let people know they are amazing and beautiful. Death comes to fast to not let your feelings be known. Regrets last longer than rejection, and knowledge breaks the chains of not knowing. So take those risks! Tell other people how you feel and what you think. Be recklessly vulnerable once in your life.
I want to leave you with this image/quote. I found it on the Pinterest the day after I told the guy that I like that I liked him and it basically summed up how I feel on this.
